Photos By: Yoshiko Santoso (@yoshikosantoso)
The holiday season is upon us, and lawd that came quick. Before we know it, 2019 will be over. As opposed to doing a reflection (oh believe me that is coming), we decided to focus on family for the first time in this post. What better way to do that than to highlight a millennial family in all of their splendor who has hit their stride and are making waves as parents, in their communities, and in their professions. The trifecta is something serious and what’s even more noteworthy is the poise with which they carry it all. For our first family feature, I’d like to introduce our friends, The Tadesses! We love these guys and everything they stand for. Hayelom (dad), and Olga (mom) are generally just dope people, and their story is one that should inspire us all.
Hayelom is Ethiopian and was born in a refugee camp in Sudan. Olga is Filipina and was born in the Philippines. I’m not sure if you believe in soulmates, but it’s quite serendipitous that they both migrated to the States at the age of 9. Although they were living in two different parts of the country, they ended up meeting and falling head over heels for each other. (It’s no secret: I’m a hopeless romantic!)
So of course, I had to dig and figure out the back story because love like this, doesn’t just spawn overnight…
Q: How did y’all meet?
A (Olga + Hayelom): We met on blackpeoplemeet.com (lol). We met in Pennsylvania at Penn State University. He approached me while I was eating brunch with my best friend, Victoria. He says he remembered me because I was super chill. (Sweatpants, hair tied, chilling with no make-up on…..and really thick glasses) He said that it was my aura that attracted him. For a long time, we both knew we liked each other; all of our friends knew, but we never acted on it. Eight years later, we realized we missed an opportunity and he found me on FB so we started talking. I had to let her know how I felt (AKA slid into her DMs.)
Q: So what happened next?
A (Olga): We had a long distance relationship; he lived in ATL and I lived in DC. As a general note, we were on the same page that I wasn’t moving unless we were serious. And the long distance actually helped us a lot because it forced us to build a foundation on communication. Also because I couldn’t physically, walk away, I just hung up the phone. He absolutely hated that.
Q: Makes sense, but I guess the next logical question is how do you know when yall are “serious”.
A (Hayelom): We had an advantage of being friends first, so we were able to witness each other’s true character. That built a foundation of respect and trust that when our relationship pivoted to a serious one; we were able to talk about it. For me, I needed to witness first hand how we were going to deal with the following situations:
– When we are serious challenges, how would we deal with it?
– Are our goals aligned? If not, how do we adjust?
– Do we have the same values, aspirations, and philosophies in life? If not, where is the exit (lol)?
– Family is the most important thing for me. I needed to know how important it was for her.
All of this became clear over time. But of course, for Olga, there was a limit on this time (lol).
Q: Fast forward, yall are serious and it’s time to meet parents. What did that look like?
A (Olga): I introduced him to my parents from a memory in the past. My brother got into a car accident, and Hayelom took him to get it fixed. So it went like: “Hey ma, remember the guy that helped me out that time… Yea he’s a really nice guy… yeah I’m taking him to my friend’s wedding.”
A (Hayelom): I introduced her to my family at the African gala. My mother thought she was nice, and my sisters loved her. They reminded me that I was an idiot, years down the road, for missing out on her the first time.
Q: So there were two weddings and a reasonable amount of time where it was just the two of you, and down the line came Helix and Omni. Can you talk a little bit about parenting, and how it has impacted your relationship?
A (Hayelom): I’ll start with this: as a man if witnessing the evolution of a woman through pregnancy doesn’t give you a new appreciation for her and your mother, there may be grounds for that man to re-evaluate his life.
When she was pregnant, the amount of stress on her body and mind increased tremendously, but her spirit and connection with the child increased equally. By the end, I had a completely new respect for her, and my mother. And TBH that only increased when I witnessed my wife at child birth.
In terms of what it has done for our relationship, it challenged us to deal with an entirely new level of stress. It goes back to one of the first premises I looked for when deciding if we would be serious… it’s the quintessential question, “when we go through stress, how do we deal.” Our keys to success has always been playing to our strengths:
– Teamwork
– Communication
– Putting pride aside to define/recognize who is better at what
– Understanding when is best for collaboration and when do we let each other fly solo
Parenting, overall, has forced me to learn to step up and be more understanding, and for that, I’m thankful.
Ladies and Gentleman, The Tadesses embody a blended family. Blended in their personalities, their values, and teamwork. The most important thing to them is family, rooted in faith and charity. As immigrants, who were given an opportunity to raise two, wonderful, first generation Americans, their foundation is rooted in these concepts, and in their words, “the only reason we are where we are today is because someone else opened the door.”
I love that two people from completely different backgrounds have come together to create a life that is truly worth living. Thank y’all so much for allowing us to be apart of documenting your story. You both have hearts of gold, and it’s a privilege to be in the fold!
Outfit Details:
Helix:
Shirt / Blue Overalls / Shoes: Zara Kids
Olga:
Dress: Birds of Paradis
Shoes: No.21 (navy velvet slide flats)
Watch: Gucci vintage bracelet (thanks for my forever fab mother)
Omni:
Shirt: Zara Kids
Blue overalls: Zara Kids
Shoes: Komuello (Korean baby shoes)
Hayelom:
Shirt: Custom tailored in HK (Cheung Hing Tailor)
Suit: Custom made from Suit Supply
Shoes: Aldo
To A Life Worth Living,
The Wkender