Seldom comes a feature where the content is so close to home that I have to let is stand on its own, but ladies and gentlemen, this is definitely one of those features. The WkendHER feature for the Month of May is a dynamic duo: the beautiful Ms. Meyah Williams and her daughter, the incomparable little Miss Carter Hightower. Fair warning, this is a longer post. However, it’s a celebration of Motherhood, and we love mama’s!
A few words from Meyah:
I do not know how one can be so lucky, but I am Carter’s mom. Carter Denise, an amazing, sweet, loving, mean, and sassy toddler changed my life in ways that I could not imagine. She redefined my life’s purpose. Through her behavior, she mirrors the good, the bad, and the ugly inside of me and gives me something to strive for and work on daily. While I was not prepared to bring a new life into this world, it turned out to be the best thing that I could’ve done at that time.
Although I go by Mommy more times a day than I can count, I’m also Ms. Williams, the STEM Tinker Lab coordinator at an inner-city elementary school. Before Carter, I had talents in tech that I barely used. I was extremely indecisive about what I would do with my life and how I would do it; however, once you have a child, you lose the luxury of “time to figure things out.” Shortly, after her first birthday, I started a job that I love. I get to teach science, engineering, and coding to kids! From my daughter to my students, I believe it is a privilege to teach and mold young minds. Plus, as a product of Atlanta Public Schools, I am honored to be on the other side of the classroom giving back to the community that helped raise me. Carter is two now, and I just received my first promotion offer for next school year. I push forward way harder for us than I ever did for me.
The school system is not the end of the road for me, though. I also go by “Coach!” My love of fitness began long before Carter came along, and my pregnant and postpartum body thanked me for it. She didn’t start to show until my last trimester, and days after she was born, you couldn’t tell that I’d just had a baby. Over the last year, I’ve worked to turn my fitness hobby into a business: CMeyNaked. My mission in this age of surgery is to motivate and help women to build their dream bodies naturally through rewarding hard work and dedication. In just a few short months, I received my certifications and built lasting relationships with several clients who trust me to deliver workouts, meal plans, and new content that will help them reach their #bodygoals! I am extremely proud and excited to continue this journey to becoming my own boss.
Becoming a mother did not take the crazy, the sexy, or the cool away from me. Sometimes people view motherhood as this sacred act where you must be wholesome, covered, calm, and collected at all times. Your short skirts, crop tops, and party days should be behind you. While I was pregnant, I decided against those boundaries. After all, I was 21. I didn’t believe that being a mother meant that I had to become a modest prude. Instead, I decided that I would teach my daughter that she can be multifaceted. She can teach children math and teach adults pole dancing. She can wear a fitted dress to a party over the weekend then put on a tailored suit Monday morning. She can listen to Cardi B. and Sade. While I’m teaching her, I’m also learning that that doesn’t make you fake; it makes you human. And outside of motherhood, education, and fitness, that’s exactly what I am—simply Meyah.
1) Prior to becoming a mother, what were your thoughts about motherhood?
Honestly, I thought motherhood was kind of easy. Turns out, I just had a strong mother. She worked her jobs, paid all the bills, achieved her degrees, moved the two of us across the country, and never let me see her sweat. God placed an amazing man in her life, and I watched her get married and naturally birth two sons. When I think about it, none of it could have been easy, but you could never tell by looking at her.
2) What scared you most about becoming a mother?
Motherhood itself never scared me, but the idea of passing a human being did! As the time approached, I began to question if I even could. I dreaded not having another choice. Over the last few weeks, I had to constantly remind myself: This is why I was created.
3) When Carter first arrived, what was the biggest adjustment.
Losing my armrest (pregnant belly) was a pretty big adjustment, but the biggest was that we weren’t one anymore. Now she was a separate person with separate needs. I had to adjust from being the barefoot pregnant woman home alone doing whatever she wanted, to the new mom at her baby’s every beck and call.
4) What has been most exciting about your development since becoming a mother?
I’ve developed unimaginable patience. Recently, I spent 10 minutes in the store talking my angry two-year old down from a tantrum. It is difficult but learning empathy helps. I often imagine being given everything I’ve ever wanted exactly when I wanted it. Then as I can do more, I start getting told no and I’m given a lot of rules. How frustrating it must be. Practicing empathy with my daughter has made me a better person all the way around as I am always considering how someone feels.
5) If you could give advice to any expecting parents, what would that be?
“A new norm”. A lot of women will say, “I can’t wait to have this baby so that things can go back to normal.” The truth is that things never go back to normal. One of the greatest pieces of advice that I read in a motherhood forum was to “create a new norm.” You cannot have a new life to care for and expect to return to the norms of your old life. The idea of creating a new norm allowed me to let go of expectations and accept whatever new challenges came with my baby as my new normal life. This doesn’t just apply to motherhood. In general, going back is not a natural course of action. We should always be pushing forward, embracing and welcoming change with open arms.
6) Who is your favorite TV mom?
Rainbow Cinnamon “Bow” Johnson! Blackish is a great show about parenting in a modern Black household. It is my favorite family show all-around. Rainbow is a kind, educated, hardworking, mother, wife and role model. She keeps things fresh and funny. Nobody’s house is perfect, but I want my home and the behaviors in it to model a family like the Johnsons. They are a close-knit family, they talk to their children about important issues in the community, they allow their children to make mistakes and discuss and find solutions outside of physical punishment for bad behaviors, and they enjoy each other.
7) If you could meet any mother throughout history, who would it be and why?
Well I don’t need to go through too much history to get to mine. I would meet Beyoncé. I’m not a member of the BeyHive; however, I have nothing but admiration for her. She is powerful and so is her message. In her self-titled album, through songs like Partition, she showed us that moms can be sexy! It was important to her as a human being to feel that way, and she didn’t let motherhood strip her of it. In Run the World, she spoke on “how we’re smart enough to make these millions, strong enough to bear the children, then get back to business.” She IS motivation. She constantly reminds us that whatever it is, it can be done. Then she gives us little insights into her life that let us know that it’s not easy, but it can be done.
8) If you could go back and talk to yourself on the day that Carter was born, what would you say?
I would tell myself to work harder. I was a stay-at-home-mom, and that’s exactly what I did—I stayed at home and I mothered. Speaking from my current perspective, I had countless opportunities to start my business back then, in 2016/17 instead of 2018/19. I often think about how much further along I would be. I don’t necessarily like to think like that though. I’m grateful for the time when all I had was Carter—no job, no bills, no business. For months, I focused only on her and her needs, a privilege not many young mothers are afforded. So yes, I do wish I was further along in some areas of life, but I’m also aware that all the consistent attention that she received during her first year helped her reach some developmental milestones earlier than usual. Everything always works out!
I really enjoyed reading this story it’s a motivator for young mothers The author really told her short story well, it kept my attention and covered her life story.
Well we appreciate the compliment every story we create in conjunction with the person featured to get their authentic feedback!